Monday, February 22, 2010

Is this it?

As a young teen, I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. None of it involved marriage or kids. As we all know, my life has turned out very different from what I expected. I'm a mother to two painfully gorgeous children and a devoted military wife to the most reliable, loving, intelligent, compassionate man. But I won't gush :). This is not all that I am, at least I don't think it is.

Many of my friends have tons of career asperations, however,very few of them are actually trying to acheive their goals. I have no idea what it is that I want to do with my life. I know that it is important for me to be home with my children. Even when they are older I want to be home when they get out of school. I want to have the flexability to be able to drop whatever I am doing and pick them up, take them out or whatever it is that they need. My major in school is business managment, I do not think this will lead me to a job where I would be able to do that. I don't mean that I want to stay at home all day everyday. I do want to do something, it just has to be the right something and at the right time for myself and my family.

Yesterday, I felt something change. I've always enjoyed taking photographs and then editing them. It's theraputic and immensly calming to take someone's photo's then to sit down and make the photo speak. Remember that wonderful husband I was talking about? Well for my birthday he got me the most amazing gift, a fancy new camera, one that I'd been coveting for awhile now. Included with the camera was editing software & a tripod. I've made some money before, doing shoots for people in our community, but I never thought of it as more than just a hobby. Husband and I have always talked about owning our own business some day....and now I think we know what it will be. A small photography studio, we'll run it ourselves.. I'll photograph & edit while he takes care of the paperwork and advertising, of course he's still planning on spending more than half his life in the Navy so most of the time I'll have to bear most of the work. But my degree will aid me in that department, and it won't be for a long while so we have plenty of time to prepare.

I really think I've found my something here...lets hope I don't get overwhelmed and quit like I usually do.

Monday, February 8, 2010


For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. ( Matthew 6:12, 14-15)

Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. (Luke 17:3)

I've been thinking alot lately about my being able to forgive as a Christian.These passages are giving me conflicting feelings on forgiveness. One is saying my forgiveness should be conditional and the other says I must forgive to be forgiven.

There are some things I would like to forgive people for but I'm having a hard time finding the strength to. I've been struggling with this for years and I'm hoping God will help me find some clarity on this soon.